Scrimshaw Club Opens Its Doors

Citing decreasing membership numbers and increased operating costs, the lauded Scrimshaw Club announced yesterday that it will be opening its doors to the general public starting next month. The Scrimshaw Club, opened in 1850, has historically been the establishment of choice for Osprey’s elite.

“Of course, this does not mean that we will push out our remaining members,” explained Reginald Hawthorne II, president of the Scrimshaw Club. “In fact, most days will be for members only. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday will be for the general public.” A strict dress code of slacks, button-down shirts, and dress shoes will be enforced.

Members met the news with mixed reaction. Some members understood the need for change. “Look, I understand that the Club needs to increase income,” commented member Samuel Wood. “These days, clubs like this are sort of anachronistic – they have to do what they can to survive. If that means allowing the public to come in and enjoy what the Scrimshaw Club has to offer, so be it.” Other members were reportedly offended at the idea of opening the club to “the plebes,” in the words of one member, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “The Scrimshaw Club is where we go to get away from these people. I personally don’t have any interest in rubbing shoulders with a bunch of vodka-and-Red-Bull swilling, fist-pumping bros.”

Wealthy whaling ship owners founded the Scrimshaw Club in the mid-1800s in order to have a place to relax and discuss business in private. With fine, dark woods, luxurious leather seats, and many fine examples of scrimshaw art, the Scrimshaw Club exudes class and sophistication. It is one of the few remaining active gentlemen’s clubs of the 19th century, and the only one in Osprey City.

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